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[Z]enith's Saturday Topic v2


Lawson

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What up?

 

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That's what up.

 

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Ah, the sweet taste of Salmon. After many years of serving in the Vietnam War, Lawson found himself in need of a 'distraction' so to speak. The horrors that were witnessed, the crispy smell of Napalm in the morning, the men who looked suprisingly like women...

Having impregnated one of said Men, Lawson found himself back in the good old USSR with a freaky, half Human half Korean. Naming the child Inu, the memories of Tank (the boy's mother) haunted his very existence.

It was all too much. Too much for one mere mortal to bear, Lawson ate some salmon.

 

But why Salmon? What did the glorious Mermaid of the sea had to do with this story?

Well, not really anything but stfu I'm trying to paint a picture here.

 

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Videos:

 

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[insert banner of clan you fought]

 

Fearing the demon like child that was Inu, Lawson knew he had to defend himself. Creating a clan named Zenith, to shake the very foundation of the pure world while only eating Salmon on saturday trips. Wasn't that the dream on which this great community was built upon?

And he almost succeeded. If it weren't for those damn kids.

Tonight, a fine [47] Salmon wielding, Trout eating, apple pie shooting and shrimp casting members joined as one. With one purpose; To mock the *** called Lawson for having such an ugly ass baby.

But little did Zenith's finest know about the approaching Doom. With an army so vast it could easily drink 3 or 4 bottles of water, not leaving a drip behind, the hordes of [TLP+IR] found themselves ready to take down #9HP-in-one-bite, once and for all.

The battle that emerged was kinda faggy, alot of man-love and 'make gay not war' soon left Lawson remember feverish dreams of Gay experiences long passed. A shame.

 

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A sight never before seen by human eyes. A Salmon so great it was cooked on the very Volcano that once housed Elvarg. The burning of this Salmon would mean utter devestation to the little shell of the man that was once called Lawson.

And oh, what a great Salmon it was. For many days and nights, Zenith danced. We felt like one again. Knowing that the Gods of Salmon once more smiled upon us, we regained our lost honor and took up the Battleaxe. Wielding Maces and Maple longbows, we knew it was time. It was time to convert some heathen trout loving ****** ass ***** that was [Intense Redemption].

Charging their puny Band of Trouts at [Ghost hut], our Roars of might sent chills down their curved spines.

Not expecting resistance, our leadership was trolling around Teamspeak, trying to decide giving oidwildy founder rank or not. While he made some pretty convincing arguments, the fact that he wasn't a founder, rank, member or even applicant was an eyesore to some. But I digress.

As the final Bunny-shaped cloud passed over the Glorified battlefield, not a single word was spoken. Knowing this victory was one achieved not by the strength of mortals but by the power of the giant Salmon, Zenith returned home, to sing about glorious battles in Edge Pub.

 

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The sleep deprived eyes of Topicmaker yours sincerely is making this empty bottle of cola looking pretty ******* scary. Not sure who drank it, the search for a full bottle continues. And so, while aiding OId in his quest for Cola, the mighty Zenithian clan of Salmon ventured into deep wildy with him.

Clearing the cluster between lesser, inferior clans [The hater and NME], or making [Exiled Force] poop their plateskirts in single; not a single feat was too great for the Warband of Zenith.

But while looking outside, Into the green hills of Belgium, wondering what ever happened to the demonspawn Baby of Lawson, A lone leaf fell down from the sky. Higher than any Tree known to Men, this leaf crashed into the Wilderness from Valhalla itself.

Knowing this was the approval of the once glorious clan of Bloody Vikingz, Zenith knew what had to be done.

Having forsaken their ideals which built this very community, Swordfish were sold, Pizzas were thrown away and the might combination of Apple pie and Salmon once again struck down upon [Intense Redemption], making their demise that much more humiliating.

Swinging his mighty Axe left and right, Lawson lost his life, but not his pride. He shall forever be known as 'that guy that did that ugly chick that turned out to be a dude'. An honor I wish upon every single one of you mighty fine warriors.

 

[insert pictures]

 

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[insert banner of clan you fought]

 

While a dark eyed cat slowly walks past my keyboard, I can't help but wonder what ever happened to that bottle of cola. Maybe the cat drank it. While I type this, she's looking at me with eyes that could only be fueled by the burning fires from Satan himself. I'm kinda scared. While I know this is random ******** I'm typing , I can't help but wonder 'what if?'. What if this demonspawn is the reincarnation of Inu? That filthy half breed Asian that loves me longtime but never really gave me the attention I deserved?

I remember our 1 weekyversery. I got all dressed up and cooked this gorgeous meal (salmon ofc, if this wasn't about salmon I'd be digressing) and Mr Asian came home, turned on the TV and called my 'fat ass' over there. Whilst still smiling and hoping for not yet another beatup, [insert clanname] was fighting Zenith inside the wilderness.

Because I was getting the good old in-out in-out from #1 Asian Inu I don't know who won. But hey, since this is Zenith's aftermath topic, I'll just make you kids believe we won. I'll select a few pictures for proof brb.

 

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This was it. The final battle of the day. Knowing not a single Zenithian would survive this battle, the leadership went 'afk brb' while leaving their clan awaiting certain Doom. And Doom was brought. A clan by the name of [insert clanname] soared the gray plains of the wilderness, burning everything in it's path. Wave after wave of metal crashed upon us, clashing with the very Adamant Armor that brought us those many victories. Whilst shouting '35 def or GTFO' our opponents got the **** off. Was this possible? This feat performed by mere mortals? Completely deprived of salmons, a smile followed. We survived this battle. Against all odds, defying the Gods themse- Ah nope, my bad, wrong capes, Zenith lost.

 

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brb i need to go take a ****

Proud Ex Founder of Anxiety
Proud Ex Honoured Member of Epidemic
Proud Ex Elite Member of Destructive Pures
CURRENTLY a Proud Leader of Zenith
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Wow???????????

 

Dont take my vietnam joke again m8 **** will happen

 

keep gettin brave and ima have 2 put ya in ya place m8

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Coming at Full Force since February 1st, 2012.

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Retired 6/28/14
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o i see took 4 hrs to write a topic like this to cover up your pitiful trip

 

hes not even in zenith, the point was for fun i suggest you take a trip to your local mental institue and spend the rest of your life there you ugly hill giant

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I will be taking my cookies now.

 

 

oid is mine idiot

 

 

Sorry they paid me cookies.

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-Proud to have been a member of Enigma
-Proud to have been a member of Negative since 23-1-2011
-Proud to have been Malice in Wonderland since 17-7-2011
-Proud to be #NME. Last clan I'll rock since 8-9-2011
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